Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Rahm. It's safe to come out now. But not too far out.

Looks like Friends of the Park has iced Rahm's land give-away deal with billionaire George Lucas.
Note to Rahm: Yes, it's probably safe to come out from under your desk now. Now that you've dumped Supt. McCarthy and the voters have fired Anita Alvarez, things seem to have quieted down around the Laquan McDonald murder and cover up.

I know what you're thinking. The mayoral election is still three years away and there's no single unifying progressive alternative opponent yet in sight. Your divide-and-rule tactics in the communities have worked to some degree. And there's still plenty of time to re-brand and clean up your image and even hand pick a successor if you choose to move on.  After all, you've got the best clean-up team money can buy.

By 2019, your pal Hillary Clinton will most likely be be in the White House, federal dollars will be flowing into Chicago and Laquan McDonald, Barbara Byrd-Bennett, school closings and the teachers strike of 2016 (if there even is one) will be just a faded memory.

The Obama Library, the DePaul basketball arena and George Lucas's Star Wars "Museum" will all be in place, shining beacons to your accomplishments.

I see you've already taken off your fuzzy sweater and dropped that unbecoming, contrite, frowny-face, and gone back to taking revenge on your critics (principal Troy LaRaviere) and rewarding friends, pre-Shakman style.

Zopp, new deputy mayor in charge of whatever.
But hold on, Rahm. You may be moving just a little too fast? I mean making Andrea Zopp your new, highly-paid (thought we were broke) deputy mayor in charge of whatever has just about every one in stitches. I know you owe her a debt of gratitude because of her votes to close schools in the black community while she was a member of your sham school board. I guess by pulling her back from political Boot Hill after her abysmal loss to Tammy Duckworth in the senate primary, you're trying to send a message to your few remaining faithful machine followers that you still have their backs. A stand-up guy. But deputy mayor? C'mon. You made that up.

Even funnier was your appointment of Aaron Koch as the new Chief Resilience Officer (or "CRO" as I like to call him). I must admit, you really got me on that one. Padding the bureaucracy with positions that don't even exist. I can't wait to see how Chief Koch is greeted by all the other resilience officers working under him.

Aaron Koch in charge of "grit".
I would have applied for the job myself, but while I could use the money and pension boost, I didn't feel resilient enough to handle the pressure. My problem -- I never took any of those now-fashionable "Grit" courses when I was in school. You know, the ones where they beat down the kids with testing and racial abuse as a way to prepare them for the crappy, low-wage jobs that await them after graduation.

Yes, things may be looking a little brighter from where you're sitting, Mayor One Percent. I see you're even smiling about the slow down in the city's steadily rising murder rate. April was a good month for you since the murder rate was up only a tick from a year ago. And a slow increase in the murder rate under your administration is better than a fast one. Right? It's like the glass being half-full.

But a warning. Not much has changed down here on the ground.

The city's debt is mounting. While the CTU probably won't strike this month, that no victory for you. If you make another move to unilaterally violate the contract or fail to negotiate seriously, all bets are off.

The CPD is still out of control with services being withheld in several black and Latino neighborhoods as payback for community protests of police killings.

Friends of the Park have just iced your sweetheart land deal with George Lucas.

Your school system is barely able to stay afloat, nine months without a budget.

Another summer of gun violence is around the corner, largely a result of your failed policies.

And finally, the people of Chicago just don't like you.


  1. Chief Resilience Officer? For CPS or for the city? Dumb question since they are run by the same guy. And now we have a deputy mayor? Systems are going down in flames, the city is broke, the school system is broke, pension funds are underfunded by billions, but there is always money for high-paying jobs for friends and family. No wonder the sales tax in Crook County is the highest in the country.

  2. Lawrence NybergMay 5, 2016 at 2:15 PM

    This Star Wars Museum fiasco restores the image Rahm as a weak, incompetent who can't serve his wealthy patrons well, no matter how hard he tries. He's the servant who keeps spilling the tea.

  3. Aaron Koch is nothing if not the master of resiliency, grit and determination. How else would you explain his rise to power in such a short time without any other qualifications or accomplishments on his resume. And to think that only 3 years ago, our new Chief Resilience Officer was a mere Deputy Commissioner for Sustainability and the Water Dept. Only in America...


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